Irony alert, incoming!

This week my neighbour at work was complaining about the sounds in my inbox – every time an e-mail came in it beeped. Now, to be honest, bipeuse though I am – and how many beeps do I hear at the supermarket scanner or the cashpoint machine or entering my PIN, every single day – I couldn’t hear the ping-pong of said e-mails dropping into my inbox. The fault was traced to a volume control thing which kept resetting itself, a legacy from our office move a few weeks back, when we had a number of resulting computer troubles. But she’d kept quiet about it until it drove her nuts and she could bear it no longer. I don’t think it was driving anyone else mad, but just to be on the safe side I e-mailed our IT guys to get them to disable it permanently. I can e-mail them instead of phoning them up (except when I can’t even get into my puter, in which case someone else has to ring up).

Well, they managed to stop the beeping in my inbox, but the beeping then started in the database I use. It was starting to drive me even more nuts than the original beeping had done my colleague. So I chased up the IT guys again. They ring one of my colleagues. It disrupts someone else’s day. The ripples spread wider and wider. I then have to describe the problem to him and then he passes it on. So of course something gets lost in translation. It drives me even nuttier. I can’t bear this farce – why don’t they just e-mail me back? What part of my initial e-mail description of the problem do they not understand?! Is it not techy enough? Do I have to use jargon to make myself understood?! Do I have to be initiated in the rites of geekdom before comprehension dawns on the gatekeepers to IT salvation?

They send down a guy who is deaf himself. I can hear the beeps better than he can.

P.S. It only took a week to sort out. My sanity is, I think, reasonably intact.